Jimmy Choo

A Scorned Lover’s Guide To Funeral Chic

A Scorned Lover's Guide To Funeral Chic

“Dress like you are going to meet your worst enemy today.” — Chanel

Or in this case, dress like you’re going to your worst enemy’s funeral. Nothing expresses victorious grief like walking in a formation down the aisle with your best friends: Jimmy, Coco, Christian and Valentino.

I feel like the only two people who could carry off this look without any fvcks to give would be someone who a) is the jilted lover of the deceased who abandoned her at the altar to run off with his ex who unceremoniously crashed their wedding right before the exchanging of vows, or b) the sixth wife of the ancient yet extremely wealthy dearly departed who struck gold two weeks after their wedding.

I created this set around the RED Valentino headband because i actually adored the whole veiled beanie trend back in 2013 even if it was a fleeting one. It just exudes a certain bad-assery that represents this messed-up day and age. The pearl studs were added as an afterthought because never underestimate the effect of a glistening pair of understated earrings peeking through hair and material– breathtaking.

The combination of the dress and shoes required the most thought out of all the items, mostly because i was torn between this and also wanting to go with the classy, demure look  of an A-line piece, something Rooney Mara’s character from Side Effects (pre-insider trading jailtime) would wear. But then again dressing villains is just so much more fun!

For the heels i wanted something understated yet fitting with the overall theme. I definitely didn’t want to go with flats because that would bring down the whole look but at the same time, the wrong sort of platform heel could take it in a sleazy direction all too easily. This pair of Jimmy Choo Rosana pumps go perfectly with the dress because they’re conservative at first glance with the covered toes and yet the leather straps and stiletto point heels add the right amount of edge than say, Louboutin’s signature red soles.

And finally, the Chanel Black Globe clutch because nothing says “IDFWU” like a bomb-shaped accessory in hand.


Longsleeve dress

Jimmy Choo high heel pumps
$415 – net-a-porter.com

Chanel kiss lock purse

Alexander McQueen umbrella
$635 – farfetch.com

CÉLINE retro glasses
$320 – superette.co.nz

Christian Dior eau de perfume
$145 – selfridges.com